would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Couch. On fire.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
