my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we should paint friendship bongs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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