I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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