Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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