come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
