brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
