is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
