Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
