I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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