I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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