i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
