what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
