You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
