Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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