It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
