She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
