My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize