oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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