you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
