This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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