Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
