I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
