Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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