You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style