If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize