Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
