Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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