Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
high people should be assigned attendants
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
