Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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