I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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