While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize