She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
