That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
