Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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