Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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