i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
