It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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