so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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