would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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