Screwed.edu
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
