Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
