So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
