If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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