Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
