Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
