I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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