if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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