O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize