dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So vagazzling was a success
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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