Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
