is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
