I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
