the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
