she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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