you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
