Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
