You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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