good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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