She announced her abortion via fbk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
