just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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