Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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