Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
