In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
